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  • It’s been a while

    It’s been a while

    Wow, this blog is seventeen years old, now.  It’s been on hiatus for about ten, eight.  It’s fascinating reading back through some of the older posts.  A few are a bit direct, you might say.  I think my attitudes are a bit more nuanced at this point, simply due to just living.  I’ll leave them up, even though they don’t represent who I am, now.  Funny how age gives one perspective.

    Highlights of the last eight years…
    I married the person I’ve now been with for nineteen years, and, not only do we love each other, we actually like each other.  That’s the secret to long-term relationships, in my opinion.

    Writing-wise, I produced a few more novels, although they’ve been sitting dormant for a number of years.  They will be exhumed, however.

    I took three years to study creative writing and screenwriting at Western Colorado University’s MFA program.  One of the best experiences in my life.  My growth as a writer accelerated.  A lot.  I met great people, many of whom I now count as close friends.  I stepped out of my comfort zone and studied screenwriting.

    I’ve had a few short pieces published (see the publications page.)  I hope to have some of my novel length projects published soon.

    On the work front, I found my way back into the Virtual Reality field, first at High Fidelity, then back at Linden Lab, where I now try to help others do their best work as an engineering manager.

    I won’t go into the challenging times.  We’ve all had them, with COVID, political strife, rampant hatred, and all that.
    Overall, live has been fulfilling.

    Stay tuned for hopefully more blog posts.

  • Why I Gave Up on NaNoWriMo

    Why I Gave Up on NaNoWriMo

    This year, I set out to do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I’m not a stranger to it. A few years ago, I even succeeded in writing a 50 thousand word novel in a month. It was utter crap, as NaNoWriMo projects often are.
    And this year, I stopped after about 7 thousand words.
    I think it was the right decision.
    There are a number of reasons I do participate in NaNoWriMo:

    • Establish A Routine. To achieve success, I need to write an average of 1667 words a day. One of the best ways to do that is to develop a habit for daily writing. Personally, I can draft about a thousand words an hour if I’m “in the zone,” so two hours a day is plenty for NaNoWriMo. Two hours a day is a lot, but it’s not out of the question if I prioritize it.
    • Efficiency. 1667 words a day. That’s a lot. I need to draft without fear. The goal is solely to write the words. They don’t need to be good words, they just need to be words on paper, so to speak. I can fix them later. I like how C.J. Cherryh put it. “It is perfectly okay to write garbage — as long as you edit brilliantly.”
    • Accomplishment. Producing a complete draft of a novel is quite an accomplishment. It’s something one can be proud of. Producing even a chapter of a novel is an accomplishment. NaNoWriMo certainly gives me that feeling of accomplishment.
    • Focus. I can’t write 1667 words a day if I spend my time on Facebook, Twitter, or dealing with life’s random interruptions. Writing at speed requires that I shut the door on those distractions and focus on the page in front of me. That’s a good habit, and it’s how I complete things.

    So, why the hell did I quit?

    NaNoWriMo kept me from writing.
    I don’t need NaNoWriMo to motivate my regular writing habit. Or my focus. Or even my efficiency. I write every day. I’ve succeeded in writing every day for well over a year, with very few exceptions.
    It’s an addiction. I need it to get through my week. Storytelling is my creative outlet, and I’m one of those crazy people that absolutely needs to create. I get depressed if I’m not able to do so.
    I don’t need NaNoWriMo’s help to get me writing. I’m already doing it.
    And I don’t need NaNoWriMo to give me a sense of accomplishment. I’ve written a 90k word urban fantasy that in the final stages of critique and revisions. I’m almost ready to send it out to agents and publishers.
    I certainly feel accomplished. I wrote a book. That’s a big deal. I can confidently call myself a writer. And I hope to call myself a “published writer” at some point in the not too distant future (although publishing can move at glacial speeds.)
    NaNoWriMo was getting in the way of that accomplishment. It was distracting me from the vital work of finishing up the critique work, of polishing, of preparing my book for submission. The work of writing was keeping me from the work of writing.
    Heck, even writing this article is taking away valuable time from polishing my book. Best get back to it.

  • A Critique of Critique Groups

    A Critique of Critique Groups

    I’ve been attending writing critique groups for a few years now, most notably the North Seattle SciFi and Fantasy Writers group, and another less formal group at the Couth Buzzard bookstore.  While this by no means makes me an expert in critiquing, my observations may be valuable to at least some people.

    A number of good articles are floating around out there on getting critiques (Get a Good Critique: 8 Tips for Prepared, Receptive Writers) and giving critiques (Give a Good Critique: 10 Tips for Helpful Writing Feedback.)  I recommend reading them.

    (Warning: this may be a little ranty.)

    Don’t Point Out Every Flaw

    One nice thing I learned is that I don’t need to find every flaw or issue in someones piece.  A critique group ‘croudsources’ feedback.  If I don’t find something, someone else will, and ultimately, the writer will get a wide range of comments.

    Not that I don’t try to be thorough.  I do…to a point.  If I were to point out too many issues, I run the risk of nitpicking, which is certainly rough on the author.

    Of course, if your group is small, especially if you have only one critique partner, it’s important to be thorough.  It’s also important to have a strong relationship that can weather criticism.

    The Deadly Memoir

    I’ll be blunt.  If you’re writing a memoir, don’t take part in critique groups.  Just don’t.  It’s nearly impossible to separate the writing from the author when critiquing a memoir.  The authors often write these pieces as a form of self-therapy.  They lay themselves bare.  Emotional armor is torn down.  Boundaries fade.  And any feedback can cut right through someone’s very identity.

    In one of my earlier critique groups, about 60% of the works were memoirs, or strayed awfully close to memoir.  This had a significant impact on the usefulness of the group over time; feedback on core plot, characterization, and structure faded, even for those pieces that were not memoir.  People simply weren’t willing to give or take feedback for fear that it might be taken personally.

    The group eventually died.

    A critique group is not an emotional support group, and your peers are not your therapists.

    Gears

    Assumptions Grind My Gears

    Okay, maybe “Grind My Gears” is a bit strong, but I do cringe a bit when someone makes assumptions about why I did something.  Those assumptions more often than not are about what I know or don’t know, or what experience I have.  And they’re often wrong.  

    What the hell am I talking about?

    Please…don’t assume someone’s a junior writer and treat them as such.  Typos, misspellings, bad habits, stylistic choices, and creative liberties with convention don’t automatically mean someone is junior.  

    Those things ONLY mean that the given piece may be an early draft, or the author has a different, very valid style.

    Unless they’ve told you their level of experience, you risk awkward encounters if you make those assumptions.  Case in point: I saw someone assume an award-winning, published author was a beginner.  Cringe.

    Being told you’re junior can indicate a lack of respect for your experience.  Ouch.

    Also, don’t assume level of knowledge about a given subject matter.  I recently had someone educate me on the physics of electricity based on some liberties I took.  (I was relying on suspension of disbelief due to magic.)  In reality, I’ve a degree in electrical engineering from Carnegie Mellon.  I know something about the physics of electricity.  (Thank you to said person for being gracious enough to let me use this as an example.)

    Remember, the goal is to critique the piece, not to critique the author.

    If you do want to provide educational material, do it with humility.  Say “This is my understanding of how x is” and not “You’re wrong, this is how x is.”

    This said, I’ve found critique groups incredibly valuable.  The current one I attend, NSSFFW has been fantastic.  I’ve had my bad habits laid out before me, and I’ve honed my strengths.

  • Eclipse 2017!

    Eclipse 2017!

    Eclipse
    Went eclipse watching this last weekend.  Some highlights include:

    • Coyotes laughing at us every two hours while we tried to sleep.
    • A cold cold cold night.
    • An epic 12 hour drive home.
    • Forgetting pillows.

    Sound horrible?  Not even close.  It was absolutely amazing.  Photos like the one above (my favorite), our little dog Bridget had a blast, and an absolutely beautiful camping spot in the middle of a cowfield in central Oregon.

  • An Untended Compliment

    An Untended Compliment

    You’re doing your job, but you’re not enthusiastic, and you’re clearly not happy.

    A few weeks ago, I was given that feedback at work.  I suspect the intent was to ‘motivate’ me to do better.  But honestly, part of me is taking it as a compliment.

    I don’t talk about this often, not even with friends, but I suffer from a mood disorder.  Not simple “I’m having a bad day” stuff, but an inherited issue that needs medication and regular monitoring by a medical professional.  This issue is not a recent development.  I first saw someone about it nearly 25 years ago, and I’ve been consistently managing it for the last 15.  For the most part, I’ve learned to deal with it as just another thing to overcome.

    Over the years, I’ve picked up a number of coping strategies that seem to work, and I’ve clearly identified a number of my triggers.  I persist by structuring my life in a way that I can use my coping strategies to avoid my triggers.

    Such is life.

    You’re doing your job, but you’re not enthusiastic, and you’re clearly not happy.”

    So, why is this a complement? This is why:  “You’re doing your job.”

    I’ve been living in a damn country song the last few years.
    I lost a job I rather liked when the office shut down.  I’ve had significant unplanned expenses due to a clogged sewer, dead dishwasher, broken refrigerator, a broken windshield.  My dog died.  We had a record number of gray days, which did a number on my Seasonal Affective Disorder.  The US has become outwardly more hostile to those who are different.

    I’ve had severe sleep disruption on numerous occasions, due to work, medical issues, a broken furnace.  (Sleep disruption is one of my major triggers.)

    And, unsurprising, I’ve experienced levels of depression I’ve not seen in at least a decade.

    Yet…I’m still able to do my job.  My rational side has been clawing and scraping, pulling me forward day after day.  I don’t have the emotional energy to be enthusiastic, or to “enjoy” things in the same sense that others might.  But I’m doing enough, if only barely.

    I’m going to take that as a win.  Sometimes, just making it is a huge accomplishment.

  • It’s Alive!

    It’s Alive!

    “Throw the switch, Igor!”

    “Yes master.”

    Stitched together from the words of countless blog posts, the abomination twitches on the slab as electricity courses through the thoughts and edits, bringing something akin to life.  Or unlife.

    Some pieces may be missing, some changed to make them fit, but the creature animates none the less, in all its horrid glory.

    The blog is back.  May it live on.

  • Confessions of a Night Walker

    Confessions of a Night Walker

    Hello.  My name is Roxanne, and I’m a nightwalker.

    (this is where y’all say “Hi Roxanne” and clap).

    No, I’m not talking about being a vampire.  Or a sleepwalker.  I’m just nocturnal.

    Don’t get me wrong, I do like the sun.  I really do.  It’s a really great thing.  But…I’m really at my best at night, and I don’t mean a measly 11pm, when most of y’all daywalkers have turned in and are in the middle of REM sleep.

    Midnight to 4am are some of my most productive hours.  Heck, I’m mostly good from 2pm on, which gives me a few hours of daylight in the middle of winter.

    And this world is dead-set against me because of that.

    I can’t even tell you how many times It’s been implied that I’m lazy, sleeping in all the time like I do.  I mean really, how could I not be lazy if I sleep in to noon.

    So…how bout this.  All you early risers who start at 7am, and think you’re super hard working and ultra productive.  I’ve seen you take your hour lunch breaks, then leave at five to go home, and do non-work things.  9 hours a day, 5 days a week, at best, and you claim you’re super-hard-working dedicated people.  (I won’t go into the golf afternoons)

    If I go to work at 11am, more often than not I’ll leave at 7 with an hour lunch break.  And then I’ll put in 3 or 4 more hours in the darkness of night.  It’s not uncommon for us night-owl developers to put in 10-12 hour days.  Those extra 3-4 hours?  Those are the undisturbed hours, free of you daywalkers.

    Who’s the lazy,unproductive one now, eh?

    After 10pm, there’s no distractions from restaurants, shopping, and all that.

    After 2am, you can’t even go to a bar.  There’s nothing on but infomercials.

    There’s no traffic on facebook.  No news stories on the news sites.  The internet grinds down for the most part (at least for your region).  Plenty of time to be with your thoughts and ideas.

    There’s nothing else to do but express ones creativity.  Those are the best hours.

    Day people still get preferable treatment.  We still need to adjust our schedules to meet your needs.  But you’re stuck in the past, in a time when the sun ruled over the only work available…agriculture.

    We live in the future.  A time where productivity is not ruled by that glaring orb.

    Our only weakness?  We’re exhausted, stuck adjusting our schedules to the needs of day people.

    What if we, the night people, were well rested, living on our own schedules.

    The early bird may get the worm, but the night owl gets much more than measly invertebrates crawling through the dirt.  We hunt the early bird.

  • Video Game OST tracks FTW.

    Some of my favorite video game soundtracks…

    What’s the World Come To. – Zac Belica/Sarah Ravenscroft – Sin: Emergence

    Swamped. – Lacuna Coil – Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines

    Still Alive – Lisa Miskovsky – Mirrors Edge

    Isolated – Chiasm – Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines

    Electric Worry – Clutch – Left for Dead 2

  • Syrtis Minor…Now over 50k words. I’m a NanoWrimo Winner

    Just passed 50k words in my NanoWrimo Novel  Syrtis Minor.

    It’s a murder mystery/adventure set on Mars in 2050.  Bunch of scientists, engineers, and the like.  Of course they’re gonna kill each other off.

    I’m a NanoWrimo Winnder!

  • Insomnia Sux

    Insomnia Sux

    Okay, I went and got my schedule all turned around.  Insufficient sleep for the last two weeks, and poor sleep at that.  I finally crashed last night, woke up at four, and here I am, almost five in the morning and still awake.

    Gah.

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